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Hi there! I am popping in today with a short and sweet episode to talk about one of the main questions I get about feeding kids.
What’s the main question? Everyone wants to know, “what should I do when my kid says ‘I don’t like that’?’. In this
- How we set up meals to be kid-friendly
- Our response to this or any other comment about eating the food that’s served
- Some key ways you can think about feeding kids to maximize enjoyment and reduce arguments
Feeding Kids without Arguments
Let’s start with the question at hand: what should I do when my kids say “I don’t like that”? (Or some other version of that comment).
I hope sharing what I say will be helpful to you. Here it is: ‘That’s fine. You don’t have to eat it.”
Not very exciting, huh? Like maybe you were expecting a big answer or how I was going to convince them to eat it. And I, like so many of us, have
But the truth is, that time I’ve spent has
Feeding Kids Using Division of Responsibility (DOR)
As I mentioned, I haven’t always been so comfortable letting my kids decide how much they’re going to eat or whether they’re going to eat at all. In fact, in the past if they didn’t like something I’d start scrambling to find something they would eat.
So what changed? Everything changed when I recorded this episode on Turning Picky Eating Around with Natalia Stasenko of Feeding Bytes and learned more about the division of responsibility (DOR) in feeding.
DOR, created by Ellyn Satter, tells us that:
The parents are responsible for the:
- What is served
- When it’s served
- Where it’s served
The kids are responsible for:
- How much they’re going to eat
- Whether they’re going to eat
This division was so freeing because it made me realize that it is not up to my kid to decide what they get to eat at any given time just as it’s not up to me to decide how much they’re going to eat.
Giving Kids Food Freedom
It was from this division of responsibility that my kids and I got freedom from arguing about food.
But I know it’s not always that simple. One of the keys to feeling this freedom is in setting up meals in a way that works for the whole family.
The Formula for Successful Family Meals
One of the techniques that has been most successful for us is in serving meals family style. This allows us to:
- Make sure there’s at least one item everyone enjoys
- Allow everyone to make their own choices about how much they’ll eat that night
- Given kids control over their choices within limited,
parent approved options
I remember thinking that this sounded so complicated to have so many options. But after taking this approach for almost a year now, I can assure you that with the right set-up, this is the easiest way I’ve ever served meals.
Here’s what they often look like:
You can also see more on my Instagram stories under the “Easy Dinner” highlight. I also share many more ideas on this in the podcast or video episode on this topic.
Conclusion: Feeding Kids without Arguments
I’d love to hear if you’ve tried this approach at home and how it worked!
What is one thing that you could start doing today to better divide up food responsibilities in your house and empower your kids to decide how much they’re going to eat?
